Sunday, June 15, 2014

A Blur of Sparkles, Glitter, and Pixie Dust

I know I am not of the age where one would normally reflect back on life with a sense of appreciation for all that has been, counting her blessings as if any day now could be her last. I feel I need a few more decades worth of candles on the cake for that. A box of denture cream. Adult diapers. Psoriasis. Gout. If I am to confess, however, I have run out of fingers and toes for counting that for which I am thankful in my life. I find myself, lately, teary-eyed and joyful all at once, feeling very much like Cinderella at the ball.

Talking to a friend once I came to the realization that my life is very much a living fairytale. The beginnings are nothing any child would choose. One does not say, “I think I would like to be born into a family that struggles to put food on the table, one that sleeps in homes that are cold or should be condemned.” One does not wish on oneself humiliation, degradation, struggle, despair. One does not. But one also does not give up on her life, does not fold her hands and say, “Well, then. This is my lot, and I will take it as it is.” No. She keeps a song in her heart and a smile on her face.

Then one day her fairy Godmother enters the scene. Now is when the magic begins.

In fairytales we call this magic synchronicity, lucky breaks, coincidence, chance. In real life, we call it the reward of sweat, work, toil, goals. Sometimes we call it God, the Universe, Source. I believe it to be a little of all of this. I have reached this point in my story. I have reached the point where good things happen, where the Universe gives back.
Lately, without a good degree of effort on my part, opportunities seem to land in front of my face. I ask, and it is given. Sometimes I ask things for others. And, again, it is given. I recently had the opportunity to feed those who have no food. I asked in a tiny way. It was given in size extra-large. Along with many others who stepped into my path to help make this happen, the little girl who had no food was able to feed others who have no food. You cannot imagine the degree to which this makes me feel.

You should realize the significance of that last statement. I am not much one to feel. Feelings have not served me in my life. I have had to harden my heart to get to where I am. I have had to detach, to strategize, to persevere. I have had to settle, to buck up and deal. This welling of feeling, of joy, inside of me is new. It is new. And welcomed.
And so I count my blessings. I give thanks. I give many thanks.

Each day, I wake to a family that loves me, a family that loves each other, and that loves those with whom they share the earth. I go each day to a job I am meant to do. Leading, motivating, entertaining, teaching, I believe, is why I am here and how I am to spend my days. I realize this may sound arrogant. It is nothing of the sort. We each were put here with gifts and blessings, gifts and blessings that we are to share with those who cross our paths. I have found my gifts and blessings. I am lucky like that. I have the opportunity, too, to write. Or, as I call it, teaching on a page. Entertaining. Motivating. I have the opportunity to write, to make people smile, to lift the vibration of those around me. I am surrounded, in turn, by those who lift me up, by those who brighten my days, those who cheer me on my way.

I realize, I do, that at some point the clock will strike. At some point the dance will end. Still, I have love in my heart and hope in my song. I know that regardless what happens from here, the dance itself is lovely. It is beautiful and exquisite and grand. It is a glorious mix of sparkles and smiles and glitter and gold. That little girl who wanted so badly to be a princess is taking her turn twirling about the floor.

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