Monday, November 24, 2014
Unedited clips, random thoughts, a good effort at a beginning of year writing challenge.......
There is a comfort in a friendship that requires no pretense. One is free to be just as she is without fear of judgment or ridicule. One is free to say or do or question. One is free to be transparently honest and bare.
I felt this.
“It’s the difference between creating an enduring piece of art meant to move versus throwing together an entertaining piece of fluff meant to distract.” This is the thing about working with writer friends. They can never let you just play. All of conversation is a critique. Maybe I want to dance around the page batting my lashes, blowing seductive kisses, and flinging my feather boa around your neck. Maybe I don’t feel today like putting on my big girl panties and moving seemingly immovable mountains. Let Gandhi and Mother Teresa take care of that business. I want to make you smile, make you laugh, make you spit your coffee through your teeth. Besides, how is that NOT helping humanity?
We get so darned serious.
I am only halfway through my day and, already, I have complained of the snow, my homework, the dishes, the dogs, my back. I have flung a little negativity in the direction of my family, my friends, strangers, myself. And this, my friends, is a GOOD day.
I got in my car and blasted the heat, turned up the music and headed for the highway.
My soul lay dying on the ground. I breathed into it the gift of life. I breathed into it the gift of life with nothing more than a few good tunes, some beautiful food, and the slightest hint of sexy black lace.
If any one person has contributed to my growth, it is this friend. He has helped to reach deeper within myself than any other I have met in my life. He has brought a joy to my life that I did not realize I was missing. He has made me laugh and smile and think.
He tells me his news just days before I am to lock myself in a car with my family and travel across the country.
Fighting has always bothered me. I have never liked it. We have the power to bring each other such joy and love, and yet we choose to tear each other apart. It is not merely the fist to face fighting that disturbs me. I am saddened, too, by shunning, neglect, grudge-holding. When I say saddened I mean physically and emotionally moved to the point of being sick.
As a little girl, I was always a victim. I was pushed, teased, made fun of for nothing more than being who I was. I loved people. I wanted to make them smile and laugh and love themselves and each other. I never wanted to push or tease or fight back. I wanted everybody to get along, to play nicely. I never understood why this was such a difficult concept and why it was ridiculed by so many.
Even as an adult, I find it interesting that we crave love and yet are so afraid to share it.
We hold grudges for years, ignoring those who have the power to feed our souls, letting feelings rot and fester inside until we no longer feel joy. We throw ugly words, slander, shame. Why do we do this? It takes just as much energy to offer a kind thought, an encouraging word. In the process of destroying others, we destroy ourselves.
Maybe someone has wronged you in some way. How does it serve you to throw hatred back at them? How does it serve you to hold anger inside of you? Could you not find something they have given you that makes you the beautiful person you are? Maybe you will not go to them and share that love, but perhaps you can thank them in your heart, thank them for the lessons you have learned, the strength you have gained, the compassion you have grown.